You are not an extension of a man

Please tell me why so many of the amazing women that I employ make such terrible decisions when it comes to choosing a man! Why are they so bloody keen to have a partner, that they get into bed with these woefully inadequate men that are not even worthy of their big toe, let alone their total love and affection.

These are superstar girls that have so much ability and promise but they totally assess success in their life as to whether a man is standing beside them… Unbelievable!

News flash ladies… You are so much better than that. You can set your own path without his approval, live your own life and achieve your own dreams. Why do so many of you appear not to want this? We get so entangled in the yardstick of male measurement which means squat on so many levels.

Let me tell you, with most of the capable, yep, truly capable women that I connect with on a regular basis, I have never met their men. I wouldn't know whether they had one or not. I do, however know if they have children, as we are all so connected to this part of us and love to show and tell.

I, for one, know that if you choose your own path, set some great goals and achieve them, you have to be a much better Mum, women, friend and conversely a partner.

If your sense of self-worth is high, won't you make a better decision when a prospective mate crosses your path instead of the compromises so many of you tend to make?

What is this about?

I have seen so many great women partner with absolute drop kicks and they can’t see this yet everyone else can. I've seen women with wonderful career pathways ahead of them follow men who can't get work in this country to the nearest opportunity offshore, usually in Australia … yep, anything that they were about to achieve for themselves work-wise goes out the window. I’m flawed as to why all they have achieved to date counts for so little to them.

I’ve employed women in violent relationships that have left us as the job has to be the cause of the violence, or so says the perpetrator!!

And women who are not allowed to travel outside a certain area… yep, because he says so!

Women who are depressed because that don't have a man… yep, they are constantly looking and looking at the wrong sorts.

Ladies we are in the 21st century. You have a right to live the life you aspire to. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise and yes, you can have it all; kids, a great vocation or business, friends and a man. But get yourself sorted first, sit comfortably in your own skin and reap the heady rewards that will come.

7 reasons to leave a bad relationship 

 1. SINGLE SCARES?

One of the most popular reasons for staying in a relationship you don’t want to be in anymore is due to the fear of being single. It’s hard to leave the safety net you’ve got, and see that you are better off on your own. Think about all the extra time you have with your friends and family now, who actually make you happy and don’t emotionally drain you. Then make the break!

2. BAD ADVICE

Photo Credit: frank-chimero

If you are feeling confused and upset, everyone will offer advice. Some of this won’t be right, though, and could lead you to stay in a damaging relationship. For example, your mum or gran might be thinking about grandchildren, or the risk of you finding someone they don’t like, or someone worse. They might even be thinking that it’s better the devil you know. They aren’t feeling what you are, though, so make sure you think through any advice and if you see enough signs to breakup, do it!

3.GOOD ADVICE?

Photo Credit: hellojenuine.

If you are being given advice, think it through or share it with someone unconnected to the situation rather than just resisting it.

4. OLD MEMORIES

Photo Credit: AlicePhotography

When you’re feeling unhappy, but are scared of change, it’s easy to remember all the good things about him. How sweetly he planned romantic dates, how he always bought things for you when he was away on a trip, how he never forgot your birthday or anniversary etc. But while the old him might have been amazing, the new him isn’t pulling his weight and that’s just not good enough. Put all the things that remind you of your good memories away somewhere, and focus on what your relationship is like now. Trying to convince yourself that it will get better will just make it harder to walk away.

5. SECOND CHANCE

Remembering all of the things you used to do together can cause you to think that you’ve changed too, and make you blame yourself. While cooking him his favourite food and arranging fun days out may cause a very temporary change, you’ll be creating a fake relationship. You shouldn’t be putting all the effort in.

6. CHARM OFFENSIVE

So you managed to leave, but he wants you back. Chocolates, flowers, text messages, voicemails…it seems you can’t escape him, and it makes it hurt so much more. He’s probably promising to try harder, to make it work, and telling you that he loves you. Remember that this is a standard reaction to losing someone you have feelings for, and that if you get back with him, he won’t change. If he couldn’t recognize your unhappiness and make it better before you ended it, why would he try now? Block his number, and spend time with friends and family while you heal.

7. MISSING HIM

Photo Credit: Matthieu Verhoeven ©

The bed suddenly seems big and cold, you don’t need Sky Sports anymore and his food is still in the fridge. Anything could make you miss him, from a joke you shared, to a programme you watched together, to things he did that annoyed you. Give your home a small revamp and remove all traces of him, so you aren’t constantly reminded of him. Then keep yourself busy, and remember that missing him is part of the healing process and that’s how you will bounce back from a breakup.

Break ups can be cruel, but the best way to deal with them is to look at them as a new start. If you can, give yourself and your home an update, and make yourself feel good. Make time for the people and things that you neglected before, and discover who you are again. 

Source: http://indyhiphop.com/631211/7-ways-to-leave-a-bad-relation/

Courage under fire

Last week I was the recipient if a varmint email attack through a faceless platform. It’s always the best way for these cowards as they lack the balls to do it any other way. It was an interesting moment, as I really had to catch my breath for a second and consider what I might have done to make someone react this way.

Whilst I will never been able to pinpoint the exact catalyst of these attacks, I am always ready to consider the contents, no matter how unpalatable. It is however at these moments that you can feel completely alone as it’s not about seeking condolence and affirmation that I am a good person from those around you, it’s about reflecting on the contents to establish whether there are any lessons to be learnt!

In that day alone, along with this email, I dealt with hundreds of positive moments, along with a gift from a small autistic boy that I had spent time with whose dream was to enter a wearable arts / fashion competition and haven’t I always been one to preach from my podium that that the higher up the food chain you manage to leverage yourself the more you will polarize peoples opinion of you.

So why is it so hard to take this type of attack? I mean, if failure is better than success, and surely I have failed in this person eyes, then isn’t it about the learnings? I suppose it’s just because the content is so personal (the human factor).

I’m well aware that I have my supporters along with those that believe they have good reason to dislike me. So it will always be about my own assessment of my behaviour on an ongoing basis; not about what others say. It’s what I feel after a moment of interaction especially as I have always prided myself in being able to have the tough conversations. So when I encounter these situations I automatically ask myself 3 things:

1. Is this response reasoned?

Is someone trying to make a cogent, logical argument to forward their opinion and change mine, or are they simply trying to offload an emotional garbage bag over my head?

If the answer is yes it is reasoned, then I am likely to pay attention to the contents of the email. If it’s ‘no’, then it speaks to me of the maturity of the poison pen and what the motives really were, merely to seek revenge.

2. Does the reasoning resonate with me?

Next I ask myself honestly, does the reasoning resonate with me and could I have done better? I treat every opportunity as learning and have trained myself to not take things personally. Though I do admit to being caught off guard and we all are sometimes. At this stage I will often visualize how I could have done things differently to have gotten a better outcome and remind myself that exchanges and relationships are always about trying to achieve positive outcomes, even when the exchange might be to deliver some inevitable bad news. Delivering it professionally and humanely might be the positive outcome.

3. People are People

Finally I remind myself to stay strong, as there will always be more coming and often it really isn’t something I have done. People are people.

Daily, in a business sense and I suppose on a personal front, there will be those that I upset, that interpret a comment I have made incorrectly or hear some feedback that causes them to form an opinion on me.

I can’t stop or change this. Technology has made me even more vulnerable and given the perpetrators never had balls anyway, to attack without name is perfect for them.

So how easy is it to move on as this won’t be the last time I get attacked on this platform or any other?

I can’t help but reflect on what it must be like to stand on the political podium (no wonder their opinions are often so diluted) and what about the recent sporting successes and failures… yep we all have opinions on these as well.

It has to be about moving forward and in the words of Helen Clark, ‘you simply can’t change what has happened in the past. You can however review how you would play a scenario should you encounter it again’.

We live and learn and that, to me has to be the real key to success.

Why you can never get too big for your boots

Awarding to a very deserved grand prize winner

 For the last 7 years I have been the MC for a wonderful fashion show in Ngatea (The Make and Model show). It is the brainchild of Christina and Amanda, two very passionate and motivated teachers at the Hauraki Plains College (where I have also been fortunate enough to partake in their principal for a day program).

These women are a delight to work with and show such energy towards creating a platform for the students to showcase the wonderful garments that they have created as part of their NCEA folio work.

The show attracts capable students from a lot of the big colleges within an hour radius of Ngatea, enabling a wonderful line-up of garments and providing some very real competition for the kids and it is all extremely well judged by three very competent judges that also come back year after year.

The sponsor line-up is impressive and is a high testament to the organizer’s energy. Yes, I truly look forward to this event every year.

I am often asked why do I bother? How do I find the time but this is one of the highlights in my year and truly does fit with the focus I have around a total support of the local community and creative pursuits. And at 30 minute drive from Morrinsville they truly do qualify as time well spent.

This year, the night and show once again were fabulous… a riot of color and style and very on trend. Mullet skirts abound, hmm don't know if my customer base would be so keen to sport these as they are definitely the domain of the young.

Just check out these images…

Top L-R: This white dress with red flowers was my favourite. The little ladybug was the cutest thing!
I love the drama of the blue and pink tutus. Amanda, myself and Christina

The purpose and the very vital need that an event like this serves can often be overlooked in today’s busy world. The ability for the next generation of fashionistas to showcase their work and have it benchmarked against their peers is so important in nurturing New Zealand's creative talent.

The strict judging criteria is all about the standard of completion rather than the creative flair vital to set the students on the right pathway. Although there is one section that enables this and I excitingly get to judge it.

And the power that small events like this have to aggregrate and bring together our small communities cannot be underestimated. It enables businesses to get involved via sponsorship and parents to get a very real look at their kids work (even the teachers have put in entries).

Not to mention the confidence factor it engenders as most of the designers take to the catwalk nervously wearing their own creations… Perfect!

There’s also a top model award and they get to do a day’s work experience with us!

I will always want to be involved in events such as this as anything that ignites the creative passions of our youth and provides a creative platform has got to be great.

So roll on next year and don't you ever loose that passion Christina and Amanda… you guys are the real superstars loving and encouraging the kids the way you do!!!!!

Time for a new frock???

Here’s a sneak peak at our latest collections from Annah.S and Annah Stretton inspired by the hottest trends for Spring/Summer 2012

MINT GREEN

The big colour trend for 2012 spring/summer is mint green. This delicious tint has found favour on the runway of many fashion shows this season.  Our Annah.S Mistletoe Dress is a perfect example of clever use of the Minty colour.

Annah.S Mistletoe Dress

NUDES - CREAM

Creamy tones give you a very feminine look. As we (hopefully) get browner in the upcoming warmer months the cream will offset all skin tones nicely. The added flair of the red flower on our Annah.S Lily Dress adds another key trend (see ‘Red’ below).

Annah.S Lily Dress

NEUTRALS - BLUE

Neutral blues are a must in the coming months as they bring out your summer glow. These items are perfect for bringing the sunny warmth into the workplace. Layer with a high-waisted belt as seen here or go for the draped look of the Annah.S top and skirt combo.

Annah.S Tilia Top and Violet Ivy Skirt

STRIPES

Stripes are back, as they often seem to be. The international runways display stripes from head to toe in bold colours. We have supplied our ladies with an orange take on the stripy look with our Annah Stretton Albright Knot Dress

Annah Stretton Albright Knot Dress

RED

This spring and summer you will see a big come back in red! The bright reds are enhanced through knotted and woven looks, another trend for the season.

Annah Stretton Orchid Dress

BLACK AND WHITE

Colour was everywhere on the runways for spring/summer. However black and white have made a clever comeback. Mix different prints with black and white as your staple tones. To add the colour pair with some bright shoes as seen here with the Saffron Dress.

Annah.S Saffron Dress

LACE

Add a panel of lace to any outfit to add a touch of class. Whether it in the form of a frock, cami or clutch add a bit of glamour to your look. 

PRINT
Fashions that scream colour and fun are always achieved with a great print! Dresses, skirts, blouses, handbags, shoes in a variety of bold prints will all be seen in the store. Embrace prints by pairing them with bold necklaces and statement shoes.

Annah Stretton Stevedore Knot Dress

CARDIGANS + JACKETS

The cardigan; so fun and so flirty… the jacket; a more corporate look but both have found favour this season in bold colours like strawberry, deep lavender, bright blue, peach, yellow and our pick of the season… pink!

Annah.S Fuchsia Jacket

LITTLE BLACK DRESS

A little black dress (LBD) continues to hold its own on the top ten list of fashions that defy time and has become a steadfast "rule of fashion". Every woman should own at least one or two seasonal elegant black dresses.

 

To view more on-season trends go to www.annahstretton.co.nz

Greatness only comes when you are truly tested - Richard Nixon

“The greatness comes not when things go always good for you. But the greatness comes when you're really tested, when you take some knocks, some disappointments, when sadness comes. Because only if you've been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.”

And there has never been a truer statement for business than in this current environment.

Despite  media and others  forecasting that the worst of the GFC is over, I'm not so sure, it still feels beyond tough out there.

 So what’s happening and how do we respond?

One of the first things that we need to consider is the impact of technology and the new generation of shoppers.

I firmly believe that any business that does not have a website runs the risk of not being relevant. It is a fact “Google” is your new business card as your customers ( present and potential ) need to be able to find you. Don't delay! Establish a web presence today. It is not something that is beyond you. Start to become informed and you may surprise yourself as to how much you enjoy the whole exercise, just as I did when I learnt Manderin this year… who would have thought?, certainly not me!

Business holders also need to start to understand the buying habits of the millennium generation.

They buy because of what they can do with it (think Apple products), what they can tell others about it (which makes a great advocate) and what it says about them (environmental / social) which is very different to the baby boomers that reacted to the old browse and transact model of selling.

From a retailer’s perspective this means that we need to smell the dog (see your business through the eyes of your customer) so to speak, in regards to our physical presence.

A retail store will simply be a platform to showcase your brand(s) and a place to engage and inspire the customer. You will also need to consider the people that you employ, they are not there to simply take the money but to enhance the customers brand experience so they need to be well informed.

Start to channel your store this way. It will not work to simply do as you have before as these are very different times. Experts are forecasting a 30 to 40% reduction in physical sites over the next three years i.e. stores that traditionally form the makeup of our high streets.

I know myself that I have been able to secure some excellent rent deals for some untraditionally short time frames, due to the unprecedented availability of so many key sites that the landlords simply want to fill.

Expect this to get worse. I am channelling my website to perform at the same level as a flagship store. This target has been set over the next 12 months and I am certainly looking very seriously at the smaller store models that are simply not performing as well as earmarking stores for closure.

I have also started to focus on the establishment and growth of our ‘Birds of a Feather’ concept stores: a collaboration of synergistic retailers working under one roof creating what we call a favourite space for women (our Palmerston North store is a mini version of this with fashion and beauty). The optimum site includes fashion, food and beverage, an area for hosting special events, shoes and accessories, beauty, collectables and even a florist.

Alongside investigating and responding to this change, the steps to ensure that your businesses remain great are still very simplistic.

I am often called to reflect on my 8 steps to success as they apply to achieving greatness in all fields, from a top athlete (very relevant), to an exceptional employee as well as a capable business.

Here they are ( source TED talks )

1 Passion: you can never be great if you don't love what you do

2 Focus: stick to the knitting. Choose a pathway and travel it with discipline

3 Good: become very good at what you do and practice, practice, practice

4 Work: work damn hard at your vision but have fun along the way

5 Push: push yourself mentally and physically beyond yours and others normal limits

6 Serve: serve something of value and something that people want

7 Ideas: innovate never imitate and develop extensive networks and connect

8 Persist: think Mahe Drysdale from Beijing to London… when preparation meets persistence success will occur

So to finish off where I have started… it is about working hard now to effect change. Don't wait for it, instigate it. Yes these are testing times but remain true to the vision you have, the one you love, become incredibly good at what you do, drive a very real point of difference around your product and service and push yourself to your outer limits and beyond. Think Mahe Drysdale and know that the gold will be yours!!!

A designer's take on the 2012 Olympic uniforms

Well there was always going to be polarized opinion over the Olympic team’s uniforms. God help any incumbent designer that was approached as you can never get a consensus of opinion in the field of public apparel. Dressing women daily as I do, I truly know this...

The dynamic of comments are certainly extensive via the social media and internet platforms. So as a fashion designer of 20 years with a relentless eye for detail, what do I think???

I do know that I had a huge empathy with Kiwi fashion brand Zambesi and the constant flack they took for their design of the Air New Zealand uniforms.

They were possibly not the best fit to do this job given their very left-of-centre design handwriting. Trelise Cooper's update on the other hand seems to have created a look that matches the mood of the New Zealand traveller and is well received by the wearers.

So back to the Olympic uniforms... in taking a quick snapshot of the major players I can't help but marvel at the diversity of design and styles.

-          The Spanish look like they are about to deliver pizza

-          The Ukrainians seem to be caught up in a bad 80s movie

-          Switzerland is displaying the wholesome outdoors with their red and white stripes

-          Russia... hmm and matching background to boot

-          I got USA mixed up with Italy. Too generic to be anything at all as I would have taken them to be louder and prouder

-          New Zealand takes on the Stepford Wives meets the 1980s

-          Netherlands looks more like a fashion shoot for the latest Vogue magazine

-          And our medal winners, China well they don't look like they have done anything special at all and simply turned up in their training gear!

Fashion is such a personal thing. Look at the offerings from the designers of the world. Just as many will like the Spaniards glowing creations as will dislike the anonymity of the USA's navy and blue Ralph Lauren creations.

What I love is that here no right or wrong answers. It’s simply about a celebration of sporting excellence and excitement of selection.

Spain

Ukraine

Switzerland

Russia

USA

New Zealand

Netherlands

China