Please tell me why so many of the amazing women that I employ make such terrible decisions when it comes to choosing a man! Why are they so bloody keen to have a partner, that they get into bed with these woefully inadequate men that are not even worthy of their big toe, let alone their total love and affection.
These are superstar girls that have so much ability and promise but they totally assess success in their life as to whether a man is standing beside them… Unbelievable!
News flash ladies… You are so much better than that. You can set your own path without his approval, live your own life and achieve your own dreams. Why do so many of you appear not to want this? We get so entangled in the yardstick of male measurement which means squat on so many levels.
Let me tell you, with most of the capable, yep, truly capable women that I connect with on a regular basis, I have never met their men. I wouldn't know whether they had one or not. I do, however know if they have children, as we are all so connected to this part of us and love to show and tell.
I, for one, know that if you choose your own path, set some great goals and achieve them, you have to be a much better Mum, women, friend and conversely a partner.
If your sense of self-worth is high, won't you make a better decision when a prospective mate crosses your path instead of the compromises so many of you tend to make?
What is this about?
I have seen so many great women partner with absolute drop kicks and they can’t see this yet everyone else can. I've seen women with wonderful career pathways ahead of them follow men who can't get work in this country to the nearest opportunity offshore, usually in Australia … yep, anything that they were about to achieve for themselves work-wise goes out the window. I’m flawed as to why all they have achieved to date counts for so little to them.
I’ve employed women in violent relationships that have left us as the job has to be the cause of the violence, or so says the perpetrator!!
And women who are not allowed to travel outside a certain area… yep, because he says so!
Women who are depressed because that don't have a man… yep, they are constantly looking and looking at the wrong sorts.
Ladies we are in the 21st century. You have a right to live the life you aspire to. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise and yes, you can have it all; kids, a great vocation or business, friends and a man. But get yourself sorted first, sit comfortably in your own skin and reap the heady rewards that will come.
7 reasons to leave a bad relationship
1. SINGLE SCARES?
One of the most popular reasons for staying in a relationship you don’t want to be in anymore is due to the fear of being single. It’s hard to leave the safety net you’ve got, and see that you are better off on your own. Think about all the extra time you have with your friends and family now, who actually make you happy and don’t emotionally drain you. Then make the break!
2. BAD ADVICE
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If you are feeling confused and upset, everyone will offer advice. Some of this won’t be right, though, and could lead you to stay in a damaging relationship. For example, your mum or gran might be thinking about grandchildren, or the risk of you finding someone they don’t like, or someone worse. They might even be thinking that it’s better the devil you know. They aren’t feeling what you are, though, so make sure you think through any advice and if you see enough signs to breakup, do it!
3.GOOD ADVICE?
Photo Credit: hellojenuine.
If you are being given advice, think it through or share it with someone unconnected to the situation rather than just resisting it.
4. OLD MEMORIES
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When you’re feeling unhappy, but are scared of change, it’s easy to remember all the good things about him. How sweetly he planned romantic dates, how he always bought things for you when he was away on a trip, how he never forgot your birthday or anniversary etc. But while the old him might have been amazing, the new him isn’t pulling his weight and that’s just not good enough. Put all the things that remind you of your good memories away somewhere, and focus on what your relationship is like now. Trying to convince yourself that it will get better will just make it harder to walk away.
5. SECOND CHANCE
Remembering all of the things you used to do together can cause you to think that you’ve changed too, and make you blame yourself. While cooking him his favourite food and arranging fun days out may cause a very temporary change, you’ll be creating a fake relationship. You shouldn’t be putting all the effort in.
6. CHARM OFFENSIVE
So you managed to leave, but he wants you back. Chocolates, flowers, text messages, voicemails…it seems you can’t escape him, and it makes it hurt so much more. He’s probably promising to try harder, to make it work, and telling you that he loves you. Remember that this is a standard reaction to losing someone you have feelings for, and that if you get back with him, he won’t change. If he couldn’t recognize your unhappiness and make it better before you ended it, why would he try now? Block his number, and spend time with friends and family while you heal.
7. MISSING HIM
Photo Credit: Matthieu Verhoeven ©
The bed suddenly seems big and cold, you don’t need Sky Sports anymore and his food is still in the fridge. Anything could make you miss him, from a joke you shared, to a programme you watched together, to things he did that annoyed you. Give your home a small revamp and remove all traces of him, so you aren’t constantly reminded of him. Then keep yourself busy, and remember that missing him is part of the healing process and that’s how you will bounce back from a breakup.
Break ups can be cruel, but the best way to deal with them is to look at them as a new start. If you can, give yourself and your home an update, and make yourself feel good. Make time for the people and things that you neglected before, and discover who you are again.
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