Black and White Thinking

I am continually dealing with the hidden agendas of women that come at you from the most obscure directions.

It's time for women to start thinking in a more black and white way!

Women continue to undermine each other and themselves in the commercial/corporate environment by simply just being deliberately destructive and obstructive.

We are the masters of avoidance but, in practicing this, we are not adverse to letting all but the source know exactly how we feel!

The hidden agenda has to be the biggest bane of my life; women who sit in front of you discussing one issue, with absolute knowledge of their total lack of intent to act on any of it.

When will they learn that business is just business? It is never personal!

People with hidden agendas tend to get very upset when you do not become engaged or enraged. They want to shift the conversation to the emotional and the personal.

 

As an employer, your responsibility is to keep it impersonal and focused on facts (always have the data). That's an excellent first step.

Leaving Your Job

Make clear the decision to leave is about you, not everyone else or the company. This is your choice, justifiable as you feel it is. Above all, be professional. NZ is small and people talk. It's okay to depart for the right reasons .. the wrong ones present the problem. The great thing for most employees is that you tend to lose very few of the great team members for the wrong reason. They are great because of their ability to communicate when a challenge arises, not just chuck in the towel .

Reality check, rather than continue to move on from roles,( never a great look on the CV ) try communicating as to any challenges you may have. The result may surprise you and prevent unnecessary change for both employer and employee.

From time to time we will witness a disgruntled employee, usually one who has failed to deliver on what they said they could achieve, telling anyone that will listen of their decision to leave and any perceived challenges they have with the company. So, what a pleasant surprise it was recently to have a departure with a record sales week and a fabulous attitude to boot and one worthy reference earned as well.

 

It seriously is time for women to adapt a much more black and white perspective in their business model, whether an employer or employee. There is no room for emotion in the business environment. It simply wastes too much time and is extremely counter-productive as well as being incredibly bad for your health.

Now is the time to learn the true art of communication, tackle issues at the source, have a clear agenda of what you want to achieve and clearly communicate this. If you think you're worth more money and seek a pay rise, work with the right person to achieve this, think about what you can add to your existing role and sell yourself to your employer.

For a company to pay you more, you need to bring more to the role. Pay increases are not something that happen each year as a divine employee right. You need to earn them. Remember, until a job's worth more than the money, it will never pay more; meaning that a great attitude goes a long way in a business. Consider the position of your employer, unless they do something differently, or create a new opportunity, their company revenue take is unlikely to change; therefore the converse should work for the employee.

Clairvoyance will never be my strong suit, so why is it that so many interact with me as if it is? In doing so, we truly determine our own destiny in both the workplace and our outside environment. Therefore, don't look to others to second guess what position you wish to take on any issue or challenge you may face. Take control of your own pathway and practise communicating in a very black and white way and you'll surprise yourself with the results.

 

The first time I met Annah was at the Her Business network meeting in Palmerston North about four years ago. I was initially impressed with the way she spoke with amazing confidence and then what she had to say surprised me a little to start. The main message I heard from that first meeting was to "think more like a man in business". Basically take the emotions out of our decisions especially when it came to staff. I thought to myself "if I could do that it would certainly help". I initially started the process by saying to myself "what would a man do in this situation"? Four years on after a lot of practise I am now so proud that I have fully adopted Black and White thinking and I don't even have to think about it! I believe it's one of the key ingredients that has led to my success. I know we all think we're good a multi-tasking but it's not until you truly adopt black and white thinking that you realise that women are not very good multi-taskers at all. In fact, I've recently learnt that the brain can only cope with one thing at a time

- and to think we've bagged our husbands for years for not being able to multi-task! I mean when you really think about it - how can you be thinking of 10 different things at the same time and do them all well!  If I was not fully embracing black and white thinking while developing my new business - The Motel Guru I would've been an absolute wreck by now and certainly wouldn't have a happy family.

Wise Heart - Fabulous! It's nice to read a book from a successful New Zealander. I've read many success books and most are about successful people in other countries and usually men. How nice that we have a successful business woman here in NZ who is willing to share her ideas to help us succeed. The key message I took from Wise Heart - again one that has changed my life - is that it's ok to "want" to be a business woman and a mum. Prior to reading Wise Heart I struggled with this as my second daughter was only 13months old and I wanted to be back working again. I've learnt that by being a successful business woman it has enabled me to be a fantastic mum.

I enjoy both roles just as much as the other but again I come back to Black and White thinking. When I'm working which is Monday through til Thursday I've a business woman. When I'm mum which is Friday through til Sunday I'm mum. I don't check emails or text messages or even think about my business at all, my time is devoted to my beautiful girls. If I get up early while they're sleeping I'll check emails etc but if that doesn't happen I'm ok with that as I'm quite happy to tell my clients that those are my mum days, plus I now have a fantastic assistant that works the days I have off so our clients are getting the instant service they have come to expect.

 Annah, I would like to thank you for taking the time to meet with me those years ago and for being there for me through my journey to success.  Keep standing up for what you believe in, even if you feel it falls on deaf ears sometimes. I put my success down to a number of factors and you are certainly at the top of my list!

Stephanie