Stress… why I hate the word

What is this stress thing about? It’s become an epidemic. We can even get unlimited paid employment leave for it and it must be one of the hardest conditions for any doctor to diagnose. Sadly, it appears to more weighted towards women, and believe me, I see some brilliant examples of it each and every day.

I watch women, from all vocations, work themselves and their teams into absolute tail spins over stuff that is 90% solvable and if it’s not solvable and the majority of the negative effect can't be reversed, then there are always other solutions and other pathways forward that can be taken.

Quietly sorting through the issue is vastly preferable to the absolute drama that sometimes results and which ends up taking everyone in its path with it, the anger, the subsequent negative behaviors and the broken team relationships, are so bloody pointless. What was actually achieved beyond then venting?

Everything can be sorted at some level. Sure, some things happen that are not great but if they occur they occur and people will always stuff up (it’s the human element) in the process, but remember that a lot that is good comes from that which initially seems bad. We can and do learn from mistakes. 

Let’s simplify … stress really is the gap between what you ‘feel’ you are being asked to do and what you ‘believe’ you can deliver. In the gap lies stress.

So to solve this you simply have to a) clarify exactly what you are being asked to do b) investigate all possible pathways forward and c) take some action. A + B + C = PROGRESS.

Let’s be clear. It is exhausting being emotional. People who constantly use the word stress are usually those that baulk at the first hurdle! They often don't take time to assess exactly how high the hurdle really is, let alone look for a way over or even around the hurdle.

No one should ever need to use the word ‘stress’ in a work sense. Try, expressing the problem in non-emotive terms – “in delivering this request I have identified a resource deficit and this is what it is…here’s what I suggest as a solution….
Yep this is a lot closer to the truth and a much better message to send and it moves the task out of the highly emotive ‘personal crisis’ area into ‘pro-active problem solving’ to do list. Sometimes it also is just that you feel you are not coping…..this does not equate to failure and even if it did, there is no stigma in failing; it’s a healthy part of living life.

Truly not coping, which is the outward manifestation of dealing with underlying issues, whether on a personal front or at work, may lead to some serious medical problems and I've witnessed the many victims that have had health challenges through not managing a moment well; depression, cancers, skin allergies and reactions etc.

Stuff happens and often it will be up to us to work through it and solve it. 

So go forth sister, breathe, take a chill pill, relax and try to think creatively around a solution. You will be all the better for achieving it and believe me, you will get there in the end - persistence pays off!