Women Need a Man Like a Fish Needs a Vacuum Cleaner

Life without independence will never be a great option for any woman

In previous blogs, I have challenged my female readers to consider thinking more like a man. It is then ironic that I dare use such a provocative statement to introduce this blog.

And of course we women do need men. If there was ever any greater evidence that for every Yin there is a Yang then I am yet to be told of it. Men are our Yin - or would that be Yang.

So many threads in the fabric of our society support the interdependence of men and women; after all there would be no Bonnie without a Clyde, Romeo would not exist without his Juliette, and even Barak Obama attributes the success of his re-election to Michelle Obama! So having set the record straight in regard to the necessary presence of men in our lives, I should begin to clarify my original proclamation.

I love the men in my life!

My independence can in no way exist in some sort of vacuum. While I will never sacrifice my individuality, it is somehow reinforced by the even greater focus I continue to bring to being part of strong and happy relationships with the men in my life. My independence ensures that the love I have for each of them is enriched by the freedoms and choices I have as a secure and confident woman.

This continues to be achieved as I give all I can to these relationships with the knowledge that it comes without any sacrifice to who I believe I am and to what I am striving to become. It is in my interactions with hundreds of women every day that I am horrified to see the total evaporation of their unique personalities. Their entire existence is totally focused on the need to have a man, please a man and to keep a man!

In their desperation to accomplish a partnership or maintain the relationship they have with a man, these women have lost the very essence of who they really are! Their career choices, their appearance, the number of friends they have, the connections they have with their family simply evaporate as they lose that essential connection to themselves.

I am stunned by the number of women I meet who are truly and deeply unhappy with the relationship they have with their men. When I ask them what it is they want to change and what is they are looking for, many simply don't know. They have totally lost track of themselves. It saddens me to hear of the many women who come into my fashion stores for a Personal Styling Session and end up in tears as they rediscover their femininity.

How absolutely atrocious to have a women say, "I have not felt this beautiful for years!"

Of all the goals I have set for myself, it is the message I need to shout from the roof tops that remains my absolute priority… "We women do not need a man!"

We do not need men to;

• Have meaningful relationships and to find great friendships.

• Choose the career path we are passionate about.

• Provide the basic needs of food and shelter.

• To form opinions on a wide range of social and political issues.

• Tell us we look beautiful.

It is with some glimmer of hope that I can begin to see strong messages of independence being sent to our younger women. As much as I hate to reference certain celebrities, I cannot deny some of the greatest messages of independence that are resonating very loudly with our women of the future are being sent by women like; Kim Kardashian, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Lopez.

While many of the messages these women send are to be questioned, at least their determination for absolute independence hold worthy value.

Come on Ladies… We won the right to vote to enable a choice! We are provided maternity leave in recognition of the highest value we place on motherhood! We have equal access to the highest levels of education…and yet so many of us haven't connected the dots! 

You are the power! You are the freedom of choice! You are your own future!

Find yourself, grow yourself and then and only then choose to share yourself with another.

For those who chose to be with a man, take with you to the relationship 100% of who you are. Sure, relationships require compromise but this can never be at the expense of your core values, dreams and beliefs.