Whose birthday is it really?

22 years ago, at exactly this time, 7.30am, I gave birth to a perfect little boy weighing 10lbs 6.5oz, in the Morrinsville Maternity home. It only took an hour, I guess I've always been one for getting things done quickly and efficiently and he's turned out to be one of the biggest highlights of my life.
At 22, he's blossomed into a wonderful young man and I'm incredibly proud. I think he looks a bit like Bradley Cooper. My partner thinks that’s a bit inappropriate, given I've possibly got a crush on Bradley and this is my son after all. 

I have however, got a massive crush on my son, for all the highs and all the lows, we have done so much together and apart; I've dealt with so many incidences, got him out of plenty of tricky situations, funded so many of his whims and supported all of his dreams.

His gap year saw him travel the world and truly grow into a man. From the boy that never ate anything, he's now that intrepid traveller that tries the sheep's eyes in the Moroccan markets.

I've got to marvel at these 22 years and wonder how the hell they all went so quickly. I have to consider what is left and what these years will look like for me and him. After all, this was the first Christmas that we spent apart as he decided to work in Perthand live with his girlfriend’s family.  Yes, it’s all part of his life's journey and a further distance between us.
Motherhood; one of the toughest roads I've had to travel but one of the best gifts I have ever had - and it never really belonged to me.
So what happens next? Do we ever really know?
Today, as a I complete my early morning Pilates class, it feels like my birthday as well, as what better gift could I have had than my little boy all those years ago.
So happy birthday to me! I have so much more to celebrate than I do on my actual birthday.  I have enabled and provided for a boy that I know will eventually go on to follow up with so much that I have started. His absolute passion for making a difference will mean that he contributes to so many others as his life moves forward.   Will my job ever be done? Hell no, I'm here for the long haul. For better or worse, our lives will always be inextricably linked.  

Most things that you think are important aren't

I can't help but think that 2013 is going to be my annus horribilis year. After all, it is the year of the snake for the Chinese and surely that can't be a great omen. Not that I am one; I’m a pig. It would possibly be a lot worse if I was a rat.

I know that I work hard. In fact,the bench mark is possibly set at its highest level right at this very moment as I sit here typing on the flight home from Hong Kong. It is two o'clock on Sunday morning in NZ,the team on board have made several references to the office (this is the seat that I’m seated in), I have papers scattered and the laptop screen up as I type this blog.

Too many of the people and the animals that I care about do not enjoy good health given their advancing years, and I suspect this will be the year that I am forced to say goodbye... in many cases I am even questioning my ability to cope.

Death and bereavement and caring for an aged member of the family has also been an interesting development in my workforce. As I watch the leave applications flood in from those that suddenly need to care for older or unwell parents, a new reality for us as an employer appears. They are often attached to those in fundamental positions and frequently with no set duration, time of return or an instant departure from their role. Never before have I seen so many of these absences...

I know that they, as I’m sure I will, have nothing more on their mind than getting their loved ones through this time with dignity and a big part of that will be investing time to strengthen their bonds before they depart this world should this be the destination at this time.

 

For someone like myself, work is and has always for the last twenty years been all consuming. Given that I love what I do, it’s possibly not been such a problem for me,yet I know it has for those closest to me. Ideas that spawn in the middle of a holiday break can become a focus all too quickly,even with the best of intent they are hard to park. We tend to conquer the problem, yes, it is a problem to those around me,by allocating a set discussion time but for me it can be hard to think of anything else.

I know this will be the year that I'm forced to slow down, want to slow down and forced to smell the roses and I will start to prioritize what is really important. No it’s not work; work will always be there as long as my systems and processes remain robust. It’s the people and animals around me that will be important this year - my environment outside work.

 

So let the year of the snake begin and already it has started to unfold with difficulty.I can only hope that as they always say… out of every bad situation, good will come. Yes, I know… most things that you think are important AREN'T.

Why every girl should love their Mum

Fat girl thinking thin

For most of my life I have been on some sort of diet - from the very regimented Jenny Craig to the ‘I really need to watch what I eat today and tend to eat more than the day before' moments. I have often said that fat truly is a feminist issue.

Why is it that most men have no guilt in scoffing down a Big Mac, fries and a full sugar coke? Me, I feel guilty after a cheeseburger and diet coke, even when it’s been consumed out of absolute necessity.

In fact,the quarter pounder with cheese is up there with one of my best overall meal experiences. I recall diving out of Christchurch not long after the first earthquake in September having spoken at an event to launch my second book ‘Wise Heart’ to a wonderful group of Zontarians. I hadn't however chosen to eat at the event largely given the lack of free-range food. Heading down the highway towards Ashburton where I was to speak at a breakfast event for the book the next day,I realized that I really did need to eat. Given the lack of choice at this time of night I selected the local Ashburton McDonalds, threw caution to the wind and went for the quarter pounder with cheese (diet coke of course and yes I did have the fries). 

JOY,JOY, JOY as I sat outside my motel and devoured every delightful mouthful. Nothing had tasted so good and nothing has for a long time.I could smell the cheesy smell on my hands when I woke up the next day, but oh the guilt, and to this day I have returned to the single cheese burger no fries and diet coke when the moment necessitates.

So what is this blog really about? I have suddenly become a ‘born-again’ regardingthe female body weight phenomenon that is attached to most of us women.

How? Well during the middle of 2012 (July to be exact) I completed Dry July; a program that sees you go without alcohol for a month in the interests of a cause… this one being helping the Auckland City Hospital.

I was one of  2131 participants who helped raised $546,084.68 which went towards projects such as installation of Wi-Fi in waiting areas, new seating, new children's play equipment and the construction of a healing/reflection garden.       http://nz.dryjuly.com/how-we-help/who-we-help/new-zealand/ 

 
Unbelievably, I was easily able to do 6 weeks and that’s with a trip to Ireland in the middle of it. Amazed at the discipline that I could apply to this challenge,I set about looking for other areas of my life that I lacked application to conquer. My yo-yo food preferences were a great place to start, some discussion with my Facebook friends and there was suggestion that I should give up refined sugar for a month, so I did.

Difficult… well you’re looking at a girl that enjoyed ice-cream (the full-fat kind) after dinner and liquorice pieces in abundance with her cup of green tea before bed.Yep, the first three days were tough but the rest of the time was a walk in the park. The result... 5 kgs came off my frame without even trying. I have remained off and the bonus is I have no desire to eat sugar... even with a New Year holiday break involving several bevies and very little exercise... the weight stayed off.

All I did was make a step change to the way that I lived my life. I’m not on a diet and I don't have to think about what I eat. In fact, I eat more than I ever have - just not refined sugar. Yep,I still enjoy a glass of wine as that’s natural sugar. The result of this is the same thing that we are asking people to do with the Million for a Million challenge. No, I haven't given up on this great initiative. I truly believe that we can collaboratively combat the stigma of being the world’s third fattest nation by at least starting the conversations.

Now I can honestly say that I am truly sugar-free. I choose not to eat refined sugar and have no problem when those around me do. What is it they say? 21days and it becomes a habit - well I am truly there. I no longer crave a bounty bar in the afternoon or finish my meal with my much-loved strawberry ice-cream. I don't want to nor need to.

So I urge all of you to apply a discipline to your life in 2013. Just do one small thing for your health then forget it.I did and reaped the benefits that I'd been searching for all my life. Weight-loss was one thing but the bigger gain has to be the control that I now have, coupled with the resultant health benefit.

Log on to Million of a Million and make that start today at www.millionforamillion.co.nz