Best and worst gifts for Valentines Day - I've got you covered xx

I’m not so sure that I believe in the day from a commercial perspective but I certainly believe in the need to focus on the love in our lives. It is loving and being loved that drives so many of us to succeed and therefore it’s important that we recognise these people often.

So what do I want for Valentine’s Day?

Given that I have been in love – yes, still in love – with the same man for the last 17 years first there is time.

It’s the best gift between lovers and especially the more established ones as we sacrifice time in the name of simply getting things done.

Yep, you guessed it… my man is doing something company focused, fitting into my crazy time frames so we can keep driving the company forward. But then that doesn’t mean the 14^thhas to be the only day we take time out. So I suggest for those that are apart on the 14^th that this is the day you lock in the forward plan of doing something special together. 

So what is it that cements and recognises love and makes the recipient feel especially connected to their love… 

Well if it’s a MAN I suggest the list would look a bit like this:

Sexy lingerie: Bra and G string size small (I'm a medium to large)

A sex toy: Yep... don't they say men only think about three things and sex is right up there!

Flowers: Not red roses. Even I agree the price is too high but maybe a bunch of something?? Fingers crossed it’s not from the service station

A meal out: No… he cooks for me. After all it’s his gift. Yep, it’s the infamous chicken roast with the pre-packaged stuffing and gravy. I'm okay with this especially if he washes up and has selected the perfect wine accompaniment.

Chocolates: No, possibly not as he thinks they will go to my hips but if he does decide to buy these they will usually be dark chocolate as they’re his favourite.

Trip away: Yes, we plan it and this is our beach house (the one we go to several times a year). Given that we don't use it enough anyway, yes he's right!

My list:

White roses: A dozen of them (at least) sent to work or a handpicked posy of dahlias and cottage flowers begged from a friend’s garden as she has wonderful floral taste

A meal out at a new restaurant or cafe one that I have researched and decided to try: No usual places and haunts as he always prefers these. What about Puhoi Pub and Bistro… we may even be able to take the dogs... http://www.puhoinz.com/see-do/eat-drink/puhoi-pub/

A piece of art that has significant meaning to us both: This doesn’t have to be expensive… may also be a quirky piece of furniture that we both fall in love with. Check out this recent Trade Me find http://www.trademe.co.nz/home-living/beds-bedroom-furniture/bedside-tables/single-tables/auction-692729830.htm

A piece of jewellery: I’m a bit of a fan of the bone bangle from Meadowlark http://www.meadowlarkjewellery.com/index.php?page=listingDetails&&prodid=197&categoryid=6&sco=&collectionid

New linen for our bed: Loving Wallace Cottons… and reasonable prices 

http://www.wallacecotton.com/ProductDetail.aspx?CategoryId=164&ProductId=919

So roll on Friday the 14th February. Please let me feel the love and give some as well and good luck to those of you that are still making decisions as to how you will recognise that significant other.

Feel free to share your Valentine’s Day gift ideas in the comments below…

Annah 

Why it is okay to be stupid - some of the time

'Before we are old and wise, we first have to be young and stupid.'

I have always loved this saying. It resonates at so many levels of my daily living.

While I am certainly not willing to categorise myself as old, I am very aware that I cannot comfortably claim to be young either.

So what category do I fall under then? I am thinking - perfectly seasoned!  I say this because I still have a youthful outlook on life but I am able to call upon wisdom gained from having lived for over half a century.

I am still able to access good levels of energy and health to tackle almost any goal I set myself but now do so with good amounts of reflection and planning.

Having said this, I cannot say that access to wisdom is not an automatic rite of passage.

I believe much of my wisdom has been well earned, practised and polished. I am often quoted as saying - "If I am not tripping and falling then I am not learning!" - however it is not inherent that mistakes lead automatically to learning. 

A moment of failure is only accompanied by learning if we take time to reflect on what happened and why.  We then need to benchmark the experience and strategize a new pathway for success as we move forward in our lives or business.

This year I certainly have taken this on board with my 'less is more' mantra.

While I still have a huge list of what I want to achieve, I am spending a great deal more time reflecting on each of my goals to flesh them out, ensuring I have good clarity and strong strategies to achieve them and at the same time working hard to avoid previous mistakes.

I have also promised myself to recognise the year has twelve months in it so I will pace myself, using some of my well-earned wisdom to employ patience and understanding when these goals take longer to achieve than first expected.

Given my willingness to be wise and not 'rush through every day' has already paid dividends as I have managed to capture that 'holiday magic' I wrote about earlier this month. Remaining true to the promise to myself to take this 'magic' home from holiday, I have found time each week to create 'escapes' for myself and the family - very rewarding for all of us!

So for all of you out there that are 'well-seasoned', do make sure you celebrate both ends of life's spectrum while you can - for all too soon, we will be old!

What have been your biggest life lessons? Post them in the comments below...

The good, the bad and the ugly of driving a sign written vehicle

Are you willing to let others see the real you?

I was bemused as to why our daughter wouldn't take up our offer of using one of the company cars while hers was undergoing repair.

"Exactly what is wrong with the car?"

"It's got sign writing all over it! I'd have to drive like a saint!"

Without dwelling too long on what her 'driving like the devil' is like, I began to reflect on the transparency that had threatened my daughter's usual anonymity on the road.

Her loss of anonymity as a road user was intolerable and simply not an option! I do wonder how all of our driving behaviours would change if we drove vehicles that clearly identified who and what we were.

Imagine a LED display on each end of our cars that presented key information about us - mine would read 

'Annah Stretton, mother of two, director and philanthropist' 

OMG my driving would certainly become more circumspect immediately!

Taking this a step further I began to wonder if increased transparency applied more broadly to our lives would modify the way we live and behave? Would we be able to traverse a normal day with everyone seeing and knowing exactly who we were, what we were doing and thinking?

Total transparency would, I believe, inevitably lead to social chaos. To have your every thought and opinion made available to everyone around you would not allow for the 'social privacy' we all depend on in our private and working lives.

That's not to say that more transparency would benefit our communities...

I just wonder how the following actions would have been modified or even eradicated if those involved had their behaviours made totally transparent to the greater communities they represent?

Would Len Brown be fighting for his political and personal life right now or would John Banks be heading towards his forced 'retirement' if their actions were viewed with greater transparency?

So there is no doubt that the more accountable we are the more quickly we would modify our behaviours! 

I am also certain that a balanced application of transparency will lead to positive change and growth for us all!

Many great businesses already apply strong levels of transparency in their reporting to investors and employees. Strong leaders display open and clear agendas, seeking feedback and engagement from those around them.

Capable and loving parents talk openly with their children, taking time to explain the idiosyncrasies of life, sharing their learnt life skills with humility and grace.

Strong thriving relationships rely on couples who can openly share their joys, fears and dreams.

Hidden agendas very quickly destroy personal partnerships.

And let's not forget how essential personal transparency is! Are we covering up those personal flaws and ignoring our own weaknesses? Accepting who we really are is perhaps the most important act of transparency for ourselves and for those around us!

As I reset my compass for 2014, I do so with a healthy respect for acknowledging the power of transparency. Given my existing visibility in the public arena I have already accepted just how transparent my life has become but I can easily see how my business and family behaviours could benefit from a stronger application of even further transparency.

My challenge to you all then is to act in a manner that assumes those around you know who you are and what you believe in.  Act and speak with a strong level of conviction. Take ownership of your family, your community and your contributions at work.

Has being transparent ever back-fired on you or has forced transparency been a blessing in disguise? Post in the comments below.

Men Lead in the Thinking Stakes

Men spend a lot of time thinking!

Yes I know, women of the world will now be scratching their collective crowns and shaking their heads... But it is true!

Men do spend a significant amount of their time thinking ... about doing less!

If necessity is the mother of all invention then men have taken the necessity of doing as little as possible as far as they can - through though!

From the origins of time man has worked tirelessly towards doing less!

The first and most significant invention - the wheel - is the genesis of all man’s thinking about doing less.

The wheel immediately produced workload outputs far beyond the original energy required to complete the many tasks beset man in his long survival day.

In our modern day the quest to achieve more by doing less has continued and it is here that man has continued to dominate this field.

The modern women, who has worked hard to continuously drive her evolutionary thought processes to the most complicated levels is confronted daily by the 'think lots about doing less' modern man.

Even at the domestic level she can be thwarted by the 'do less' mentality, challenged daily as to why a number of house-hold chores have not been completed.

When confronted, all men will freely share their theory of the streamlining the placement of clothing, crockery, household rubbish and sundry gadgets for a 'quick clean up later that day.'

Even the evolution of the role of 'provider' has been tainted by men's deliberate and determined quest to do less.

Much thinking must go into how to make the single task of holding down one job and just one role (man of the house) and making it last almost seven days!

It is just not thinking that men have kept on the q.t. Multi-tasking is another of their well camouflaged cerebral assets.

We women, if we listen and look carefully, can witness men processing several thoughts at once. This is most likely to occur as a woman is sharing her 'things I would like you to do today list'. It is during this moment that her man, while pretending to listen intently, is simultaneously thinking of ways to shorten, avoid or seriously modify said list.

Well done men. I salute you. Your achievements have got me to a point that has motivated me to also think a whole lot more about doing less!

I’d love to hear how my thoughts resound with your man. Post in the comments below

Living in The Moment: 4 Ways to Be on Holiday Every Day!

There is something about getting away from your usual routine that allows you to stop, relax and appreciate the simple things in your life.

On holiday the simple act of a walking with my man and the dogs in the park has an amplified level of joy I can’t quite figure out. Same man, same dogs but way different moment!

Breakfast too tastes so much nicer. Same healthy choices yet the experience is again enhanced by something that at the beginning of the holiday break I have difficulty pin pointing.

As the dogs are still just puppies, there is no lengthy sleep in each morning yet I am definitely waking up with a sense of rest and awaken feeling refreshed and revitalized.

So what is this magical ingredient the holiday break has sprinkled upon me?

I am still working; keeping in touch with the stores and the team is always a seven day role. China is very busy this time of year so I am online to them too. At the beginning of each day I also love to reset the business compass and tidy up my focus for the New Year... so work is definitely still on the agenda.

Upon initial reflection it seemed that this magical holiday ingredient was eluding me or was it that it wasn't important enough for me to look hard for an answer?

But now we are about to return to 'normality' I am wondering if I can't simply transfer a holiday state of mind to my everyday routine. Could I take just enough holiday magic back with me to allow for more than the occasional special moment before Christmas 2014?

So as we journey home I begin to narrow down the key feelings and thoughts that have surrounded me while on holiday. Interestingly, while I have remained busy during the break there just seemed to still be an abundance of time.

While I did not manage to add more time to each day, I did seem to be able to live in the moment with a great deal more focus. The absence of pending meetings or deadlines allowed me to relish in the 'now' which in turn magnified the essence of each moment.

In addition to this I allowed myself to indulge in thinking about all matter of things unimportant. Laughing out loud I would be planning with much enthusiasm the lunch-time platter while still enjoying breakfast.

The holiday had removed the background noise from my life! Just like a Dolby stereo filtering out the piffle, time from normality made the magic so much more intense!

The magnification of my focus on simple events that are usually relegated or if they have to be achieved they are more often delegated to others, inherently made said events more special and rewarding.

Okay! I'm getting somewhere now... so... How can I take some of this holiday 'magic' back with me?

While I would love to simplify my working life that is just never going to happen but I do think I could prioritize more 'trivial' events into my week and promise myself time not only to attend these events but to also ensure that I deliberate and build some emotional anticipation before they actually fall into my 'to do today' list!

So keen to have a piece of my holiday every day I have begun a list of 'things to do to maintain the holiday buzz list'.

Feel free to grab some of my planned holiday magic extenders from the list below and treat yourself to that amazing holiday everyday experience...

·         I want to ensure that I read a book for at least four hours a week.

·        Plan meals better. This seems to be the biggest focus on holiday when there is always lots to choose from and yummy eating experiences to have around the big outdoor table. I really do enjoy preparing and cooking from lunchtime platters to full meals ... I forget that in my manic life.

·         Get out more... take a walk, read a paper or mag, find time to do nothing... you don't have to fill every moment up.

·         Be okay about doing it tomorrow. We were always putting stuff off knowing that we would get to it, and loving that it didn't matter if it waited.

·         Talk to each other about nothing, the stuff you used to dribble on about when you first got together for hours and hours. Try to re-find these conversations. 

10 reasons why women would be lost without men - Seriously !!!

We women can be very condescending when it comes to the inability of our men to multi-task and I’ve seen many a woman raise her eyebrows and often her voice in utter despair as we discover the deficiencies when a task is done badly: a vital moment overlooked, a crucial item for the family holiday omitted, a poorly effected task supposedly completed… not!

I’ve decided that 2014 is the year we celebrate (a tongue in cheek look at) why we need men in our lives and I have discovered ….

10 REASONS WHY WOMEN WOULD SIMPLY BE LOST WITHOUT MEN

ONE

Remember the days of the pot luck suppers /dinners .. and the day your dish was perhaps not your finest culinary hour? You grimace as you place it on the shared table and pray that it won’t be the only one left untouched. Well, to have the support of a loving man as they diligently and instinctively eat their way through your single plate option so that your dish doesn't gain orphan status on the shared table has got to be useful.

TWO

Heights ... Show me a woman that will willingly climb onto the roof to grab that stray weed that we have identified as spouting from the guttering or check the leak that has suddenly sprung and is about to flood the lounge .. or  take directive to change that precariously sited light bulb, the one that everyone seems to avoid. 

No, not many of us would, that’s simply a man’s territory …

THREE

Then there’s got to be high on this list the dreaded tyre change. Murphy’s Law: it will always happen when you are in your finest, it’s pouring with rain and you are ready to hit the big occasion. Flat tyres always occur at the most inopportune moments and when they do you would be hard pressed to find any man that would leave a damsel in distress; even the ones that are a little more inept at the process will still give it a go. Let’s face it ladies, the thought of all that lifting, dirty manoeuvring and nut screwing isn't top on my priorities on any day of the week.

I am so glad that it’s still basically not the done thing for a woman to change a tyre.

FOUR

Trash day ... Men often take this job at the start of a relationship and manage it with absolute pride … andyes ladies,there’s a right way to stack those recyclables and store the trash. They have a system and seem undeterred by the smell and the contents.

Most weeks they even remember the collection day (without our prompt). Trash management is certainly not a yearning I have, yet thankfully they do it without question.

FIVE

Sober driving ... Yes, in our house that significant other happily takes the task (or is it just to my family’s events?). Not sure, but I’m happy. There’s nothing nicer than a few bevies with my sisters knowing that I’m in good motoring hands as my man patiently waits, observes the steady decline in conversation as the wine absorbs and knows that he’s not going to have to do this for another six months.

SIX

Parking … I’m in awe of most men and the way they will tackle the tiniest of parking spaces in the biggest brutes of vehicles. Spaces that I will never consider, become fair game each and every time for a man.

Going to a crowded rock concert with a man certainly doesn't see him stressing for weeks before about the “where will we park” question or getting to the event three hours early just to secure parking.

Men are great and confident parkers and love the challenge of where to park … fact!

SEVEN

Men are excellent wasp and pest exterminators. We ladies are not cut out to hunt that pesky wasp nest at sun­down, pluck it from its surrounds, ensconce it in a supermarket bag and throw it in the freezer. That is simply a man’s task and goes along with the dreaded rat baiting and mouse catching in winter. Men are rodent and pest exterminator extraordinaires. Most women I know shriek at the sight of a spider or wasp, so yes, we need men to protect us (seriously)!

EIGHT

Heavy lifting ... Men are simply stronger than us (they are great at jar lids as well) and while we run from the task, men look for these jobs. It’s all about maintaining masculinity and ensuring the guns stay in shape. Whether its shifting house or just moving the furniture around in an existing abode, you name it girls, there’s a man willing to do it. They love to lift and it seems the more difficult the manoeuvre the better,

NINE

Early morning baby or dog walking ... especially on holiday. For some reason they seem to get the job and while there are days that we women can detect a resistance to the task, they always manage to get themselves up in the early hours of the day and grace the beaches with the dogs or kids giving us girls a much needed sleep in.

TEN

Fuelling the car ... There’s not a lot I don’t like doing as much as this task. I will find every excuse to avoid the pumps and always look actively for those with forecourt attendants when it’s a fait accompli. I dislike the total fill up procedure generally and the smell of fuel has never been a big attraction as I go about my busy day.

So I'm happy to know that the men in my life will willingly take the car for its weekly fill up.

Seriously ... I love men but it’s always great to be able to have some fun. 

Why NZ's education system needs to take a long, hard look at itself

Our education system needs to take a long hard look at itself. Our dropping educational standards are making headlines and the squabbling over just why we are under performing seems to overshadow some difficult questions – are we teaching our children to underperform by avoiding standards and failing to  regularly set new expectations for our children to strive towards? We have, it seems, chosen to raise a generation of children that expect hand holding and fair play in a world that simply isn’t like that?

What accountability should Education Minister, Hekia Parata have on our dropping educational standards?

Just like many successful business owners, I know that to continue to succeed I must work hard and my day simply cannot stop at 5 o’clock. There will always be deadlines to meet, time zones to recognise and responsibilities to honour.  So is it such a stretch then to attempt to teach our young adults in preparation for their entry into the workforce that success is the return that hard work returns.  Ensuring that they experience environments that are demanding and educating them that there will be times when you have to sacrifice the 'easy life' to get ahead? 

I find it very concerning that in 2000, when the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development first conducted its highly regarded Pisa test, New Zealand 15-year-olds ranked third internationally for reading, fourth for maths and seventh for science. In the most recent round of tests conducted in 2012, New Zealand students placed 13th, 23rd and 18th respectively.

We are told New Zealand students are still however, performing above the average. As someone who is always looking to improve and achieve I can't believe average is presented as an acceptable benchmark.

I can't help wonder if our decline can be attributed to our preoccupation with fairness, individuality and readiness.  Isn't it interesting to note that the countries whose rankings improved on the Pisa test come mainly from the developing economies of Asia?

Children in countries that have increased their rankings like Shanghai, Hong Kong, Singapore, Japan and Korea not only spend long hours at school, but many also spend long hours receiving extra tuition. They have little time for play, organised sport or other extra-curricular activities. Here, these children are encouraged to pursue non-academic as well as academic interests.

I am certainly not advocating the extreme cases where students in countries like Japan attend school and followed by tutoring to 10.30pm at night but I do wonder what lessons our education system can learn from these countries. How do we instil the work ethic that these countries have?

Many in the team of people that work with me also have a strong work ethic – where have they learnt that? Does it come from life experience or from their school experience? Many come from prior to the NZCEA system where you sat exams, and were ranked accordingly - you performed or you didn’t. How has this contributed to the way the work towards success in the workplace?

And of course we cannot take our education system back to the future and set up half of the student population to fail but we can recognise the fundamental requirements of success;

• An open and enquiring mind.
• A challenging and stimulating environment.
• Strong leadership and guidance.
• Transparent systems of evaluation matched well with high levels of accountability.

Set these as foundations for our education system and overlay access to the latest technology, strong funding and the highly qualified and motivated teaching staff and our future generations will not only sit alongside the high achieving countries but be leading them.